I feel as though I’m in the throws of an existential crisis. That moment of self awareness where you realize you’ve been living outside of yourself, and all of a sudden you’re so overwhelmed by all of the people you wish you were, you can’t feel who you’re meant to be. 

Influenced by men, celebrities, friends, family, bosses and peers. Taking a bit from each category, and trying to piece together one whole person that pleases. As you bring a bit of all who you love into you, do you lose part of yourself? Is there room for who they want you to be, and who you want to be? 

How do you burst from the confining shackles of expectation to experience glorious freedom? Is that freedom glorious, or is it isolating?

I want to abandon the burden of expectation and live freely. I feel waves of nausea that overwhelm me every time I move in a direction I wouldn’t have picked for myself had I not been severely indoctrinated by this person or that person. Whether it’s furniture or fashion, my whole being is in rebellion. The woman who lives inside doesn’t want to like what you like anymore.